In my continuing quest for companionship, I have met three very interesting individuals.

The first is a cake decorator (let’s call him “Cake Boy”), who is quite young, but he seems to have his life in order. In addition to school and a FT job, he’s also designed and created some amazing cakes. Looking at his gallery of designs, I imagine this is what people must feel like when they view my photography work for the first time. I’m in awe and searching for the right words to say to compliment him.

The second guy is navy boy. He’s a couple years older than me, which is great in my book. He’s sweet, but I’m diagnosing him with ADD. He also talks a mile-a-minute so it’s tough to get a word in edgewise. He is definitely a smooth-talker; On the phone, he addresses me as handsome and always manages to flatter me and deprecate himself. Saying things like

Why is a handsome local boy like yourself talking to an average dude like me? You must have hundreds of boys wanting you.

To which I just laugh at. What else could I do? It’s cute and the exact type of ego-stroking I need right now, but I’ll have to monitor that. It might be a sign of low self-esteem, which might prove challenging. Navy boy also has a bad memory and forgets to call/txt me back when he says he would. It’s endearing, but can get pretty annoying. I despise sitting by a phone that doesn’t ring.

The latest guy I met is a fashion-major, so I call him fashionista. He’s the youngest out of this batch, but I enjoy our discussions. He seems pretty non-committal, but easy-going. So easy-going that he could take or leave my company. If there’s one thing I hate most, it’s apathy. We’ll see if his attitude improves.

Getting to know these boys is going to be crucial to fostering anything. I’m paying careful attention to what specifically attracts me to each one, what I’m willing to put up with and what potential I see in each one.

The dating game continues…

In the name of gay science, I have decided to try different venues for meeting guys. I do not have the time or unlimited budget to go out and socialize like I used to, so I turned my attempts towards the interweb.

I am currently a member of several free dating sites (caveat emptor!). While I have met a handful of quality guys worth corresponding with, I come across a lot of interesting individuals. Those of you who follow me on twitter learn about these winners as soon as I do.

Here’s a sampling from one of the guys who contacted me recently:

HIM: hey good lookin what u up to?
ME: Hi! I see you’re a Scorpio too, which means you’re awesome! I’m actually heading to play rehearsal now. you?
HIM: I love Scorpios! They are great!! right!!! Nice your headed to a Play?
ME: scorpios rock! No, I’m headed to my play rehearsals.
HIM: so when should we meet up?
ME: sorry dude, I just met you.
HIM: your funny I like that. Well have fun a your rehearsals maybe we can go for coffee or something or talk some more to get to know each other.
HIM: how was yoru practive.

As a 35 year old, he should know better. Especially since his profile says he isn’t into quick hookups, yet you see that within 4 responses, he is asking to meet up. I guess when you can’t be cute, you might as well be conniving. His spelling errors and complete ignorance was already enough to set me off.

I won’t respond to him because frankly, he pisses me off. I can only forgive so much.

The experiment continues…

Hi, faithful readers.

I know I’ve neglected this blog over the past couple months, for which I apologize. So much has happened, yet so much has stayed the same.

Here are the cliff notes to catch you up to speed:

• broke up with my long-distance BF in October
• Used the money I saved to go to SF / LA for my birthday
• In SF, had a horrible blind date
• Had a fucking fantastic time in Disneyland on my birthday
• Had a fantastic fuck in LA for my birthday
• In the middle of planning the move to SF by my 30th birthday, next year

So, I’m dropped in the swirl of the dating scene once again. Will I ever date anyone long distance? Will I ever date someone I met via Twitter? Probably not. I was left scarred from this previous experience – but that does not mean it will never happen again.

The heart wants what it wants and I’d be a fool to deny it happiness, especially if I met someone who happened to be in another state. For now, I’m concentrating on my local market. So far, I seem to be a hit among the newly-minted 21 year-olds, which is a good indication that I am the “older man” now. How depressing, yet empowering.

My boyfriend is a naturally friendly person, a trait I adore. Lately though, I’ve been getting jealous of certain interactions he’s been having. I can’t quite put my finger on it and it’s driving me insane.

First off, I was jealous over his interactions with one kid (and I am being literal here) he has no attraction to. I don’t know exactly why I was jealous. Maybe I thought he secretly liked him and wouldn’t admit it, maybe the kid secretly likes him and I magically sense that. Who knows? I wish matters of the heart were scientific so I could explain it. When I brought it up with my BF, he was surprised by it and rationed I have no reason to be jealous and said:

not to alarm you, but there are other people I think you’d be more jealous of…

Needless to say, I was alarmed. Now all I can think about is: If not this kid, then who? Who should I be worried about that he interacts with?

Someone posed a “who would you sleep with?” truth-or-dare style question to him and he dodged it, knowing his response would make me upset. I honestly don’t know what would make me more upset: knowing or not knowing?

If he tells me who he would hypothetically sleep with, how would I react? Part of me would want him to stop interacting with that person, but part of me wants him not to do anything different.

None of this is his fault. I can’t blame him for his attractions; The heart wants what it wants…or rather, the penis wants what it wants. What I’m struggling to overcome is my jealousy and my inferiority complex. I get this way sometimes. I feel like I’m not doing enough to keep him happy (though I am doing my very best!) and so he must get conversation or emotional support – or visual sexiness – from someone else within his sphere of friends.

How do you cope with jealousy?