A Little Gift

Although he rejected me, I still care for him to some extent. I’m just being cautious of how much affection I’m doling out.

I went shopping and found a cute elephant pendant, so I bought it for him. I didn’t tell him why I specifically chose the elephant design, but one day he’ll know this:

One of the first things I learned about him was that his mom has Alzheimer’s Disease and can’t even remember him or his siblings clearly. They say an elephant never forgets and so to me that symbolized the importance of memories, so I got it for him.

I don’t expect anything in return; I just want him to know I care.

Relationship Labels Ruin Things Sometimes

Once upon a time, I had these two great friends who started hanging out more and more together. They did everything together. He would tell me where he was taking her for dinner. She would tell me what she was planning for him for his birthday. It was positively charming. Then, I made the mistake of calling her his girlfriend. They brushed it off and changed the subject. I persisted in calling them boyfriend and girlfriend, respectively. Finally, they told me they didn’t want to be labeled.

At first, I didn’t understand. Now I do. I can’t say I agree with their decision entirely, but I do see why they choose to avoid a label. I mean, movie genres like “Horror” and “Comedy” were invented by marketing companies to provide context for a movie. But, it subconsciously influences us. So if a movie is sold as a “horror” and winds up being more of a “Thriller”, the gore lover is extremely disappointed. Pre-dispositions and expectations are funny like that. I guess that’s where labels ruin things.

The guy I’m dating is wonderful. We spend almost every waking moment together and are such a perfect fit for each other. Yet, the second I asked if he wanted to be boyfriends, things got all weird. I ruined what we had by trying to force a label on us.

In my defense, I love labels because it shows my pride in the relationship and also my choice in partner. But alas, relationships are not food products so they don’t always need labels.

What’s your experience with labels?

Advice for Ex-Lovers

This blog is an archive for my dirty thoughts as well as my dirty laundry. I am absolutely certain my ex-lovers — be it former boyfriends or just one-night-stands — have stumbled upon this blog at one point or another. I have no problem with that. If you made it onto this blog, you were obviously significant enough for me to mention. But besides stroking your ego, this should also serve as a learning platform for you.

I was once asked how I judge intelligence, to which I replied:

“How quickly someone learns from their mistakes.”

You see, everything you’ve done wrong, done right and didn’t do when you should have is all documented here. I suggest you use it and learn from your mistakes. It will come in handy for your next attempt at love. Things obviously didn’t work out between you and I. Remember what worked and use that magic to make someone else happy.

Here are some quick relation tips for you:

  • Do things only because you want to, not because you think that’s what they want.
  • Share everything with him: your accomplishments, your failures, your thoughts.
  • Be supportive. You may disagree with his hobbies/passions, but show support.

I really hope that helps. I hope you want to see me happy because I want to see you happy. Just don’t call me ever again ;)